Because they really do love each other, don't they
by Caruncle
Summary: A collection of barney/robin oneshots that I've written. Updated: chapter 8 Set in the closing minutes 8x08- Robin's POV on hearing Barney's decision about their relationship. Thanks for reading
1. Mind the Gap

**A/N: Hey lovelies. This is my oneshot collection for the awesomeness that is Barney & Robin. Thank you for reading it means so much that you have :) **

_Oh and I don't own the characters- HIMYM does _

Please mind the gap. Because if you don't you'll fall. If you're lucky, it might only be a moment before he, whoever he is, rescues you- pulling you up into his strong arms. But life doesn't always work like that. Sometimes you're left in the gap, struggling silently to find a way back up.

And so you balance yourself between the train and the platform. At first with a brave face, keeping yourself sane with the fact that he still might come through- he still might pull you up. But while you're trying to keep your cool, people start firing questions at you about where this is going, and all you can do is smile. Because you're terrified that if you answer the question you'll get the wrong answer and he'll leave you here, alone, again.

But at least it's not dangerous while the train is still in the station, limbo doesn't hurt. But as you wait, the question 'what if he doesn't grab me' slowly creeps into your mind. What if he doesn't notice that you're falling because you stupidly didn't realise how badly you wanted him to carry you onto that platform in the first place.

But it's too late now; it all erupts, the whistle goes. Everything so rapidly spirals out of control. You're left struggling to breathe, and no-one can hear you. And the train- the train lifts its brakes and you can feel your whole world crumbling. Your white fingers try desperately to hang onto the concrete platform, but your nails just break under the strain. It's hopeless, but you won't give up. This gap won't finish you, or at least you'll think it won't. You'll try for one last time to wiggle free but you won't be able to- you'll scream, you'll shout, you'll throw plates at his fridge- just to try and get him to notice that you're here- hurting, but won't let go- because you're stubborn. But then the train pulls away and it's gone, and so are you. Gone is the gap you once so boldly tried to cross. Now all that's left is a big empty space. If you're lucky you'll survive- but get off without scars of your failed attempt? Impossible.

And you'll never step into the gap again; you'll be more careful next time- or at least that's what you'll tell yourself time and time again. But one day, you'll forget, you'll backslide. And find yourself in the same gap once more. Watching from afar as he, heartbreakingly effortlessly, lifts the girl you introduced him to across the gap and onto the platform. And then you're left, only able to watch in silence as they walk, hand in hand, from the station together. You feel the train's brakes lift again, you hear the whistle once more, but this time you don't struggle because this time it's hopeless. Because this time, you know, he's never coming back for you.

_**Press it...press ittttt and let me know what you thought. Reviews make me ever so happy**_


	2. The right way

**A/N _Ok lovelies so I've decided to create a one shot collection as at the moment I haven't really got the time to sustain a multichapter fic properly- but I need to write to bust the stress so this seems like a good solution :) _**

_**So this is the second of my B/R oneshots- the right way. Reviews make me really happy (especially at the mo) so please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading- hope you enjoy G x**_

He stands in front of the right congregation in the right church in the right suit with the right shoes and the right flower in his button hole. The room is decorated in the right colours and the right best men stand next to him making the right small talk to try to calm his nerves. The organ plays the right notes as the right flower girl steps so confidently into view. But as the procession starts his heart isn't beating in the right way. And as he sees this girl, this girl in the right dress with the right hair do, gliding slowly towards him he can't help but feel so completely and utterly wrong.

And there's no way he can feel right. Because the right girl wasn't the one gliding slowly towards him; the right girl was sat in the third row back- just a spectator- and that could never be right. She would always be so much more than that.

But everyone had told him that his scotch drinking, gun toting, hockey watching blur of serenity was the wrong girl. They had told him to marry a girl who wants the life. You know the one who wants the 2.4 kids, the white picket fence and a Volvo- that's the right girl, that's what everyone had said. But no matter how hard he tried he would never truly be an everyone- because, at the end of the day, he was the broken boy. And everyone didn't understand what it felt like to be the broken boy- but someone did. His someone.

With her it wouldn't matter if it was raining, if the flowers were too big or even if the organist played the graduation song by mistake. It would all be irrelevant; he doubts he'd even notice- because if it was her walking towards him now it would all just fade into the background.

But it wasn't. The music stops and the congregation shuffle down into their seats. They're getting comfortable for the duration. But he's not shuffling, he can't. Not like this.

The priest starts talking and the congregation fall silent. He hears the voices in his head screaming out to do something but he's frozen. It's too late; there are no more get out clauses, bits or gimmicks. Those days are over. This is the right thing to do. It's time to be an everyone. He can be an everyone. He can.

'If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace'...

Where there should have been silence he hears movement. He hopes with every inch of his being that it's not a false alarm; but it's not. He sees her stood twisting her hands, only stood half up with glistening eyes. He hates himself for putting her in this position but he can't stop her, not now, because he needs her to stop him. And so he tries with all his might to convince to follow through. Damn it Scherbatsky, don't bail now.

But she's looking down at her hands again, her whole posture crumbling. He's staring at her so hard now, he needs to meet her eyes. Tell her that's all OK, that he won't let her down. Come on, look up, look up. And when she finally does he sees the confusing vulnerability blurred by her tears. They hold each others stare for a couple of seconds and he hopes to god she understands him. She's always has done before, but is it- all the dress rehearsals aside, this time it really matters.

But it is working. He can see her confidence returning. She's still shaking- she's still looks confused but like him, with every second of a stare they share everyone else just fades into the background and before long its him and her in the church- just like it should be.

She clears her throat; and with the slightest shrug of her shaking shoulders just utters,

'Flugelhorn'

And tries through the tears and confusion to feign a gentle smile.

But its all he needs to hear. That one word speaks the thousands they never dared to utter. And through her tears she looks at him right in the eye once more, and this time he can see a hint of a the fiery defiance that makes his stomach do sommersaults every time he sees it. She's not letting him be an everyone, she knows he's better than that. Because he's got something else, something no-one else has; he's got his someone and she has him. And he knows that's the only way it's ever going to be- the right way.

_**I know its only short cause it was written for a contest with a word limit- next one will be longer- promise... now then... a cheeky review before you leave? Thankkk you :)**_


	3. Mission Impossible

_I'm baccck !_

_So this is just a one shot set at Punchy's reception. Hopefully I should have the next chapter up for my other fic 'Diversions' soon! Hope you guys are all having a lovely summer- just over a month and we get our show back! Whoop, anyways hope you enjoy. Reviews make me very happy xxx_

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><p>When Robin had told her sister she was going to this wedding Katie's only question had been, 'Why? You don't even know Punchy...'At the time Robin had brushed off her concerns and told her that 'weddings were always fun and besides Ted needed their support.' But now as she was sat on the smallest table in the very back corner of the dingy community centre she realised her sister had probably been right.<p>

Firstly Ted certainly didn't need their support; they were sat so far away from the top table they hadn't even heard most of his speech and since then had seen him twice, both times at the bar, both times he'd waved them away as both times he was clearly trying to pick up some girl. As a result she'd spent the last three hours 'networking' through a series of weirdo's- each one slightly stranger than the last- and as she finally managed to slip away from Jerry who worked at the button factory she realised than her sister may have had a point...weddings were not always fun.

So she made the decision to retreat to her dingy corner table and finish the last of their tables wine because let's face it- if she was going to get through Jerry and the button manufacturing process round two she was going to need more 'courage'. But as she arrived at their table she realised someone else had obviously had the same idea, and that someone was sat swilling the last of the lacklustre red round his plastic wine glass. He looked up at her, his blue eyes looked so bored they were almost grey- clearly she wasn't the only one having a less than desirable time...

'Having fun Scherbatsky?'

She rolled her eyes before collapsing down in the seat next to him

' I would love to offer you some of this - top- quality' he stopped and looked at the bottle '2009 Scottish Shiraz'... I mean it's like minus fifty degrees in Scotland Scherbatsky, how can they even claim to be able to grow grapes! They should stick to haggis or Christmas trees or whatever they grow...'

'Yet you still drank the whole bottle'

'Well somebody had to take one for the team,'

'And for that we thank you,'

'Its my pleasure Scherbatsky, although I wouldn't want to deprive you of Scotland's finest'

'Yeah, well I suppose it would have been better than nothing,'

His eyes were suddenly scanning the room, they paused for a second on the far right hand side before turning back to her, they were glinting again now, what was he planning?

'Scherbatsky, we're going on a mission,'

'We are?' She really just wanted to sit here

'Yes, my dear Robin, we are going on a wine harvest, grab your glass, or should I say, 'plastic','

It turned out that the 'wine harvest' was one of the best ideas Barney had ever had. It was simple, go to every table and finish any wine that was left in the bottles that had been left on the tables by the various guests after dinner. It had started slowly but now, half an hour in it had got quite competitive. Barney had found a half bottle on table eleven, so she had retaliated with two half bottles from table fourteen. This continued for sometime- until they reached wine Mecca in the form of table seven.

By this time the '2009 Shit-az' was starting to take effect and although nobody at the reception was either aware or really cared about what they were doing- she and Barney had drunkenly decided it was clearly necessary to creep up to every table before swiping the bottle in one quick and pain free motion. But table seven was their biggest challenge to date and so simultaneously they felt themselves duck down behind adjacent table sixteen to prepare themselves for the grab.

'This is the big one Scherbatsky, we should probably have a plan,'

'I say we just go in and grab its worked great for us so far,'

'But this is so much more than table twenty three Scherbatsky, table seven is it. This is the one,' His drunken sincerity was a level above hers and she couldn't stop herself from laughing. 'Oh, this is ridiculous, I knew I should have gone solo, Stinson should only trust himself! I guess I'll have to go it alone'

Through her laughter, which she could tell by the glint in his eyes he was actually enjoying she managed to stifle a 'no', composing herself slightly she apologised to her partner in crime, she was focused now.

After extensive discussion, the last of table sixteen's wine, lots more laughter and even a drunkenly drawn diagram they decided on a plan 'Right, here's the plan. You'll go round table ten and go in from the north, grab the two aforelabelled bottles 'A' & 'B' whilst I will progress from table two and then effortlessly swipe bottles 'C' and 'D' we will then reconvene back our original table- number thirty four in five minutes time. Understand?' Through the laughter she nodded again. 'I'll see you on the other side Scherbatsky, don't let me down.' They held each other's gaze for a moment too long and Robin found her laughter stopping. But before she could do anything about it, he was up, creeping round the room to table two, she knew what she had to do- but where the hell was table ten?

Half an hour later the mission was over and all in all it had been a success. It hadn't run completely to plan- Robin had had to dodge Jerry again which had resulted in a diversion round table twenty seven. But here they were two bottles of wine later sat at their dingy corner table discussing what they could have done better when they both heard the music start. Even drunk they couldn't ignore this song-they both knew what this song meant- they hadn't heard it since, at least not together.

Robin froze; she had no idea how to play this. Their conversation had been halted by the intro for too long to ignore. She considered maybe going to the toilet or doing that fake call thing on her phone. But before she could decide between the two he was stood up (albeit he was slightly shaky, how much wine had they drunk!) with his hand reached out towards her, 'We deserve a celebratory dance Scherbatsky, we harvested the most fruitful harvest on record tonight,' She wasn't sober enough to analyse or fight it so she just held out her right hand and let him lead her towards the dancefloor.

The dance floor was littered with drunken couples just holding each other up whilst swaying to the gentle undertones of their beautiful song. It was nice though, it kind of made them feel like they were alone.

He led her to the middle before taking his left hand and cupping it gently round the small of her back, pulling her gently towards him. The rhythm was so slow and familiar she let her body resume its usual position. Her right hand left his, placing it on his strong chest, and her left hand found itself with its fingers gently resting on his broad shoulders. Before long she felt her head back in the crook of his neck as he pulled her whole body even closer into him. Maybe it was because he thought she couldn't balance properly, but as far as she understood it she felt perfectly capable. She felt his breath, laced with Shiraz and cigarettes (they had had a celebratory one or maybe three post plan success) and its familiar rhythm on her cheek and for the first time in, god, two years, she felt that safe feeling that she kidded herself everyday that she didn't need.

But no, she didn't need it. This was just a drunken dance. It felt perfect, only because it was perfect through beer goggles. And the fact that it was their song and they were dancing for the first time to it so in sync was just one big coincidence. It didn't mean anything. She told herself, with the drunken conviction that allowed her to silence her thoughts, just to shuffle those last few centimetres closer and just allow herself for now just to be, because this didn't mean anything. So what was the point in moving away?

But before she knew it she heard the fast music start again, 'Wham!' blasted out from the speakers and she felt his breath leave her cheek as he spun her quickly away -ready to do the jitterbug. And whilst he still held her hand, she so badly wanted another slow song. She wanted to feel his warm body close to hers again. What was she doing? She was over Barney Stinson. But as he threw her a little too exuberantly around the dance floor she didn't notice the people looking, she didn't notice the people clapping- she just noticed his smile, his eyes. Shit.

And although her head was exploding at the prospect of having feelings for Barney Stinson again she forced herself to keep on dancing. Because there he was laughing with her as he dipped her in front of the growing crowd. He had no idea her heart was beating at a hundred beats per minute, he had no idea that by smiling at her he was forcing her stomach into knots. He didn't know anything.

So as she was being spun she realised that was the way it had to stay. Because now this was her real mission- to carry on as normal, he could not know- and she could not fail because if she did she might lose him and that couldn't happen, it just couldn't.

So she kept dancing, and she would keep dancing until he let her stop- and if she was honest it scared her that she had no idea when that would be.

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><p><em>...a review a day keeps the bad karma away...<em>


	4. Home

_A/N_

_Hello! Sorry I've been absent for so long- I've been crazy busy as per. But Monday's episode was so bloody perfect I had to write this cheeky one shot. I will finish diversions at some point- but this needed writing first Hope you enjoy it. Btw I don't own any of the characters HIMYM does. This one shot takes place at the end of 7x09. Any reviews are, as always, appreciated. C x_

_**Home**_

They snap back to reality, reluctantly leaving the flashback of the shattered perfection of their rainy almost in the past.

'Disaster averted.' She lies through a forced smile, her mind still lingering enviously in the periphery of the stormy memory. No one had ever said anything to her so perfect and for Christ sake it had even been in the rain, the rain! And despite the three month struggle she had been enduring she was still sitting smiling, pretending that kissing him would have been the worst idea in the world.

'Exactly,' he pauses. It crushes her. She expects him to carry on by telling her how much he thinks he loves Nora. But instead he turns to her and starts to make strange noises. But she isn't listening because she's looking at his eyes. The eyes she's refused to meet properly for the last three months. But now they're looking at her so intently, so perfectly and she just knows that he meant that 'exactly' about as much she meant that the disaster had been averted. And so she holds his eye contact and mimics his actions.

And he kisses her.

She's not shocked, his eyes warned her a couple of minutes ago but she's stunned by the memories its brought back. For the last few weeks she's been kissed politely but now here she was, thanking the lord she was already sitting down because her head was spinning. His hands move up through her hair as she grasps his right arm. They are perfectly in sync despite it being almost two years out of practice, but it's different this time. The passion is still there but there's this intensity, this subtle gentleness. But with every kiss her thoughts fade away, locking away Kevin, and that promise she made to herself at sixteen that she'd never be the other woman. Because as far as she was concerned, if this kiss was anything to go, by Barney didn't see her as the other woman either.

She feels his hands exploring her body like they used to and for a second she swears she can't breathe. He starts to move his lips down from hers, gently coveting every inch of her neck. She just circles her thumb across the top of his chest. She can feel his breath becoming increasingly sharp on her cheek as she slips her hands under his collar, dragging her fingers slowly along his back. She does it rhythmically until he gives up trying to kiss her and just rests his head perfectly in the crook of her neck. He nuzzles it lovingly and she wants to burst.

But then the cab stops, they've reached her office. And suddenly both their thoughts catch up with them. They both tense, unmolding themselves from each other once again. They look at each other and neither of them wants to be the first to talk, neither of them wants to say how perfect that was, neither of them wants to ask what it means, neither of them wants to say that that was what should have happened in the pouring rain three months ago because they are both terrified the other won't feel the same. And so as she reaches for her purse to pay the cab driver he just looks nervously at his feet, wondering what the hell just happened.

Her brain is recoils and as it does her normal thought process is jolted back into place by Nora's presence on the pavement. She had been working the day shift and must be on her way home. She knows Barney is looking at her too.

Before she knows what she's doing she's out the cab, waving at Nora. He can't understand or believe what he is seeing as Robin points to their cab and Nora walks towards it. She opens the door.

'Robin said you were on your way home, we might as well share the cab'

She's so perky and British and for the first time he realises how much that has the potential to annoy him. She chats about her day the whole way home; he makes the odd non committal noise. But his head is still spinning. No-one made him feel like Scherbatsky did, she just did something to him that just made him feel excited to be home. Because no matter who else he kissed, and he had kissed a lot of women- she would always be home. It just seemed so obvious now.

And he knows he should feel awful for cheating on Nora, the girl who's parents' he was supposedly meeting in two days time. But this whole time, he knows it's not Nora he's been cheating on. It's her. Because from his first kiss with Scherbatsky he's known he never wanted to kiss anyone else. But she pushed him into Nora, and so he did it- to prove to her that he could do serious, that he could be a good boyfriend. And she was the only person that could have broken it, because it was all for her- it always had been for her.

A now she was clearly ready, because he knows that that kiss had pushed Kevin into the background in the same way it had Nora. Because he knew Kevin, he knew him well enough to know he'd never made her head spin.

So he stops Nora talking. He tells her they need to talk. They do- he explains, it's only fair in the long run. She takes it surprisingly well, she tells him she's not surprised and that her friends even warned her about it. She tells him that Robin is a lucky girl because he is a good person. He can see how strong she's being and for a moment he doubts his decision because she is taking this with such politeness and grace but then his brain reminds him of the kiss and silences the doubts. He reroutes the cab and drops her off at hers. He sees the tears in her eyes as she turns to wave goodbye and he feels awful. But its time he went home, he knows that.

As he arrives back at his, he feels his phone vibrate against his thigh. It's her. He opens it as quickly as he can, anticipating the admission he's been waiting for. But as he reads it he remembers she's still Scherbatsky, she's still terrified. And so she's still lying.

She tells him it was a mistake and that she's sorry. But he's changed; unlike two years ago he's not settling for this as some lame excuse. Because this is his future, his white picket fence and he's not letting go of it for anyone. So if this is how she really feels she can come round here later and tell him because he knows her too well. He knows she doesn't stand a chance. He loves her and she loves him. He's ready to stop dancing round, he's ready to commit, and he knows she is too but he also knows she's bloody terrified. But he's ready to hold her hand and walk through the scary world of adulthood together. Because he knows now, its only her hand he wants and he'll wait as long as it takes until she'll hold it.


	5. I love you

_**After Tick, Tick, Tick I couldn't help but fic again. I knew I wanted to write then my friend recommended me this song by Alex Clare. It's called I love you (and by the way really worth a listen). The fic is a oneshot and from Barney's POV**_

_**I love you**_

_Though I left there you sleeping__  
><em>_No I dare not say a word__  
><em>_Silently weeping__  
><em>_Knowing what I heard_

The world has never seemed this quiet. It's just spinning, but then it stops, everything freezes and he can't breathe. He let himself hope for the first time in fifteen years that real life stupid goofy love could actually exist, that he could actually have that goofy happy ending with the cake cutting and a best man's speech. And as she walked round the corner into the bar, it was there- finally he was ready to be brave, to not be a mess, to start the rest of his life because she needed him not to be- but then in heartbeat his happiness was ripped, prised so painfully from his arms. He couldn't clutch onto it, he couldn't scream or shout. He just had to watch his hopelessly unaware urban family greet them normally. It wasn't their fault, it's not like they knew that for the first time in a long time that tonight he'd put his heart on the line.

But she knew, she knows. And he can see she so badly wants to explain but the worlds stopped and he's not listening anymore. And it's stopped with her eyes, her beautiful broken eyes looking back into his. He wants to scream and hold her all at the same time and he can feel the tears boiling in the back of his eyes. But he can't cry because even now he has this overwhelming feeling to be strong for her, because she might have bailed, she might have run away. But he knows he's done now. His hand's shown and there is no coming back from this.

Her eyes are telling him stories, stories Kevin couldn't even begin to read, but they are breaking his heart because he understands every fucking word. She can't. But he doesn't want to read anymore tonight. He wants to go upstairs, gather the rose petals from her bed, let the hot bubble bath out the tub- it'll be cold now anyway and blow out the candles, blow out the candles that were lit with matches that took him twenty minutes to find.

_What can I say__  
><em>_I was never good with words__  
><em>_My tongue always got it wrong__  
><em>_Hoping that you knew all along__  
><em>_I love you, I love you_

And as he walks back up to her apartment echoes of their final conversation go round his head and he realises how stupid he's been. Stupid, stupid fucking Barney, always such a bloody fool. Why the hell didn't he listen? He just saw her smile and her eyes, but he didn't listen. She never said she loved him, she never said she was ready to leave Kevin. She made non committal comments, just like she always used to. And the one time she'd tried to put how she felt on the line, the one time- he replied with a reply that he thought spoke the thousand words he should have said; but what if she'd only taken it at face value? What if he'd fucked it up again just because he hadn't told her that every day she does something else that amazes him? That when he's sad she's the only person he wants to see and whenever he sees her he's reminded how much of a fool he was to screw it up the first time. He should have told her how he loves the way she drinks scotch, he loves how she holds a gun, and despite his jokes how passionately Canadian she is. And because fuck it, he doesn't love her despite all her flaws, he loves her with every single flaw she has- he loves the whole fucking package. He loves her for all the little things that Kevin probably hasn't even come across yet. He loves her so wholly, so completely because if she's a mess, and it takes one to know one then she is the most perfectly beautiful mess he's ever seen. And it kills him that she couldn't read him well enough to know this what he was trying to say- he failed her and for that he'll never forgive himself.

_Hell I've done all I can__  
>How can I get this through?<br>I know you're someone else's  
>And I'm sure he needs you<em>

He steps out of her building and he decides to walk home. He wants the night air to sort his head out; it's what people did in films when they tried to make sense of kinks in the plotline. Because for now it was too painful to think of this as anything else, because he could deal with a kink in their plotline one with enough apologies and admissions of love that could be ironed out, because he wasn't ready for curtains, it just couldn't be the end.

Though he knew it wasn't supposed to be this hard. Things like this were just supposed to happen, just fall into place, that's what Ted always said and Ted knew far more about love than Barney Stinson. Ted was a fucking expert at heart break and how he dealt with it so well, well he'd never know. But then he remembers one key point, the one key point that means it's OK for his whole world to implode just for a little while - Ted has never lost his 'one'

Because he knows, he is so sure it's actually painful, that Scherbatsky is his one. How can Kevin even be sure? He doesn't even know her. He probably thinks he does through all their 'therapy' but he doesn't know her, he hasn't got a fucking clue. It's obvious- but Barney can't explain why. It's their language, his and Scherbatsky's; it can't be put into words but when you're as fluent in it as Barney is- you can recognise a tourist, no matter how fluent they think they are.

As this is what he hates the most. At this point Kevin just loves the hot girl, the hot clever girl with the good sense of humour. Yes, it's not the easiest thing in the world to find but there are other girls that fit that description, Nora was the perfect example. But no other girl in the world, other than his gun toting whirl of serenity fits his description, it's her, it's always been her, it's always going to be her.

_When I'm lying in my bed__  
><em>_I can say what's on my mind__  
><em>_Let my actions be my words__  
><em>_I'm sure that you heard__  
><em>_I love you, I love you_

He turns off the lights as he crawls into last night's sheets. They smell of them and it's just too much. He can feel her soft touch on his shoulders again; taste her lips on his and its just too real. He feels the tears swell in his eyes again, but this time- there is no-one to be strong for.

And as he feels the tears he realises this could really be it. What if this was his last chance, what if one day he has to watch her walking down the aisle when it's not him she's walking towards. What if he has to watch her taking children to school that aren't his and what if he has to sit on Lily's porch and smile as Kevin passes her shawl because it's getting cold for winter? What if he's just blown his only chance let it slip like sand through his open fingers?

And her perfume from his sheets surrounds him once more, enveloping his tears but he needs more than her scent to hold him tonight. He needs her soft touch against his skin. He needs her lips on his, because it's her way of telling him he's going to be alright. How can the thing that hurt you be the only thing that cure you? He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand one bit because he was there last night. He was there when she kissed his lips so intently; he was there when she wrapped her long legs so tightly round his waist. He was there were she looked so happily yet so passionately into his eyes and he was there as she smiled, her beautiful smile burned his memory, how had he let her go again?

He was just going round in the same circles he had sworn at twenty one he wouldn't let himself go round again But as he struggled to stop the tears he couldn't help it, because this wasn't some stupid teenage fantasy. This was it, the be all and end all. This time he can't cut his hair- it can't get any shorter. He can't buy a new suit- he owns them all. He just has to face up to the fact that he's had his heart broken and somehow he's got be a grown up and 'handle it' but with no avoidance mechanisms, no disguises and no humorous excuses left... he has absolutely no idea how to do it.

_...I love you, I love you_


	6. Pandora's Box

_Hey lovely readers. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. To say I've been swamped would be an understatement!_

_This oneshot is from Quinn's POV._

_Hope you enjoy, reviews always appreciated._

** Pandora's Box**

She had stumbled on it completely by chance, just while she had been making some space for her clothes. It was a cardboard box just shoved in the back corner of the closet, but unlike the perfectly aligned rows of shoe boxes this one was different, this one was being hidden.

As she carried on tidying she kept thinking about the box, it was just so un-Barney. He was so organised and everything in his apartment had its place, but this box, it was just there; it was like he couldn't help but hold on to it but didn't know where to put it.

She'd found some weird stuff whilst she was clearing out. She'd expected the sex stuff, he'd been honest about his past and if she was honest she kind of enjoyed those types of games anyway. No it was the other stuff. She'd found a white plastic bag full of mouldy rose petals and old, half used candles- if this was Barney Stinson's idea of romance, he was really going to have to change his tune.

But even as she finished tidying she found her mind wondering back to the forgotten box. She knew she had no business opening it, but it intrigued her. And they were in a serious relationship now, it was unhealthy to have big secrets from each other, not that she could speak from past experience, but it's what all those glossy magazines had said and they hadn't let her down yet. Chances it was just an old pair of brogues or something anyway…

So she reached back into the closet and pulled the lonely box out into view. She looked for clues from the outside, but it just looked like a box, she was reading too much into this wasn't she? It was literately just going to be a pair of brogues or trainers or something.

But it certainly wasn't shoes. She didn't really know what it was. It was just a box full of seemingly random crap. There was a videotape labelled 'sandcastles' (why would anyone still have a videotape in this day and age?) Some sort of certificate printed by Mosby inc. stating Mr Barnabus 'Broseph' Stinston had passed R101, ski goggles, a shredded tie and what looked like a fragment of one of his plates.

She lifted each of the items out one by one and inspected them for clues, but if anything she was just becoming more confused. Why would he keep a shredded tie? Barney Stinson, the most image conscious man she'd ever met, hoarding this old messed up tie? It looked like it had been through the wash or something. Yesterday he'd thrown out a tie just because he felt like it, why hold on to this manky old thing? She didn't get it. Barney wasn't sentimental. Was he?

As she got to the bottom of the box she realised there was one item she'd neglected. It was a photo. The edges were all softened and cracked. It was Barney with a long haired brunette. She looked familiar and it took a few seconds for Quinn to work out it who it was. It was one of those autotimer pictures, you could tell because they didn't look quite ready, well at least Robin didn't. They were in the park; Barney was lying on his stomach in the grass, propped on his elbows beaming at the camera. Robin was lying next to him in a similar position but her head was turned to face his. She was laughing; her nose was just an inch from his cheek and her eyes just looking up at him. Her arm was placed comfortably placed around his shoulders. They were lying on a yellow picnic rug, they had the hamper, the juice boxes, even the little triangle sandwiches made an appearance in the far left corner. It was one of those pictures that looked like it should come with a frame. It looked perfect.

As she went to put the picture down she saw there was something written on the back. She knew she shouldn't read it, she knew she should never have even opened this box in the first place, but she was in it now- she had to see it through.

'_I really am sorry about the tie & I'm sure you can work out a way that I can pay you back... And I know this is totally lame, flugelhorn me as much as you like, but for us (even though we do look like idiots) this is a nice picture. See you tonight, R_ _x'_

Well yep, it certainly shed some light. Barney and Robin? How had he not told her this? It might explain a few things. Robin had always been a bit distant with her; she figured it was just because of the whole 'girls didn't like other girls' theory, but obviously it ran a lot deeper.

She tried to pretend she didn't know why Barney still kept this box, Sure it was shoved away, but it wasn't in the trash can, it was still here, in his closet. She might not know everything about Barney, but she knew him well enough to know he hadn't forgotten about this box.

But even if Barney had shoved it away for a reason the fact she had now opened it just brought it all up again. She needed to know about this, this clearly significant relationship in his life and it worried her. Because they had had the romantic past conversation and he'd had no problem telling her about the Kimerblys, the Lucys, the Alexandras the Carlys or the Janes. He'd told her about Nora and that it had ended because he'd realised he didn't love her but he never mentioned Robin. He'd never told her he didn't love Robin. He never told her about this apparently idyllic trip to the park, or the eaten up tie or the skiing. He'd just omitted her completely.

But he couldn't do that anymore. He was going to have to explain, why in an apartment void of sentimentality there was this little box in the corner that defied it. He was going to have to tell her and mean it that Robin was just a friend. But even if he looked her in the eye and said it, with his omission and this Pandora's Box, would she be able to actually believe it? How are you supposed to get over someone who you see every day? She wasn't sure.

As she picked up the photo to put it back in the box she heard the latch on the front door. She heard his footsteps. But she didn't just put the photo away, because if they were going to go anywhere they needed to have this conversation. So she just sat as he stepped into the doorway and looked down at his memories carelessly thrown on the floor. He met her eyes; she knew this was going to be a long conversation.


	7. Dancing on my own

**A/N**: Hey guys. So here is another little one shot for you. Its set post season 7 finale (contains minor spoilers) and is a song fic (based on Robyn's song 'dancing on my own') from Robin's POV. Its a little bit angsty (suprise suprise) and I hope you like it. I obviously don't own the characters- HIMYM does

**Dancing on my own**

_Somebody said you got a new friend_

_Does she love you better than I can?_

_There's a big black sky over my town_

_I know where you're at, I bet she's around_

_Yeah, I know it's stupid; I just gotta see it for myself._

The room is full of flashing lights and neon beams streaming across her strobed vision. She's too drunk to focus or remember how much she hates nightclubs and so she dances forcing her body move awkwardly to the rhythm. She's never really been a fan of dancing, not alone anyway- but what else can she do now? 'Dance it out Sparkles' that's what her choreography instructor used to say to her- so that's what she was doing,' dancing it out'. But 'dancing things out' was impossible without the beat and without his lead she just didn't have a clue where to start.

And before he would have appeared, taken her by the hand and literately thrown her back into the rhythm, their unique rhythm that was so beautifully familiar and she would have had no choice but to just dance.

But now, as she focuses for a second, he's twirling and spinning with someone else, some stripper with pointlessly blonde hair- and they've got their own rhythm and it looks painfully perfect.

She knows she shouldn't watch because she knows it hurts. She knows she's going to be back at the bar before long trying desperately to drown it all. But as she turns to watch them she realises she needs the pain, she needs to feel something because since that night, that night she broke him, she's been numb and so at least watching him, as much as she can feel the tears in her eyes and the heat in her cheeks, she feels something and that's better than nothing, right?

_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, _

_I'm right over here, why can't you see me, _

_I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, _

_I keep dancing on my own_

But as she sees him reach across and run his hands through her blonde hair she knows her inner drunk sadist was wrong. Pain isn't good and she can't watch this- she just can't. So she goes back to the bar. She doesn't even know why she's here in the first place. She hates nightclubs, she hates the men that feel the need to stroke and touch her, she hates that Lily and Marshal aren't here to hold her hand and that Ted isn't here to remind her she's a Scherbatsky and to hold her head up high. They're all gone now, too loved up to care while she's still out there trying hopelessly to put the pieces of her jigsaw together, a jigsaw she has no clue how to start.

Other people had had a some tips; their parents had shown them to start with the corners, but not her, all her parents had shown her was how wrong it could all go. Maybe had she'd known about all the tricks of the trade, she would be the one being spun round like a fairy princess, rather than the one sat drinking scotch and craving a cigarette in a cheap nightclub that she was only in because he'd asked her to come. He'd said it would be a laugh. It wasn't. But she was determined not to let him down again so it was time to have some fun.

The guy behind her was being overly friendly, but it was time to stop caring and being so picky-normal people called this playing the game. She smells cigarettes on his breath and it's decided- let's have some fun.

But as she dances with him, she realises it's that type of 'fun' your parents used to tell you to have with the next door neighbours kids (that you really hated) just to pass the time. That type of fun that as long as you're smiling you're having a good time. So she smiles, she smiles so much her cheeks start to hurt but it's worth it because as Barney looks over she catches his eye. He throws her a big 'thumbs up'. Her grin isn't forced anymore as she feels something surge inside her- she loves him. My god she loves him and she starts to dance like she used to. But then he turns away and it's all pointless again. She feels her plastered smile crumble but Mr Cigarette doesn't care, he doesn't even notice. So she keeps dancing…because who knows, maybe the guy who has yet to look her in eye (apparently her boobs are far more interesting) could be the one? She tries to look over at Barney again, but he's just not looking anymore. But she needs him to look- because if he doesn't look how is he supposed to realise what a big mistake he's making?

_I'm just gonna dance all night_

_I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line_

_Stilettos and broken bottles_

_I'm spinning around in circles_

Idiot. She needs to stop torturing herself with these increasingly desperate scenarios. What did she think she could do? Do some sort of drunken retarded jig and he'd drop his beautiful fiancée come over and spin her like he used to? Because yes Scherbatsky- that's exactly how the real world works. So she goes to the bar one last time, necks another, and returns to her stranger. He's welcoming enough and maybe, just for a little while, he'll numb the pain again.

_So far away but still so near_

_The lights go on, the music dies_

_But you don't see me standing here_

_I just came to say goodbye_

The lights come on, everything is exposed now. The girls, like her, suddenly look down at the guys who've been grinding on them for the past half an hour and shudder as they realise what they've just been touched by.

But there is one girl in this club who's not shuddering or making her excuses to get away. Quinn gives her ringed left hand voluntarily to the man who so badly wants it. He doesn't even look back for her is because he's looking at Quinn and for the first time she gets it- he actually loves her. There is going to be no fairy tale twist. Barney loves Quinn and Quinn loves Barney- this is their happy ending, their fairy tale and as painful as it is she needs to accept it because no matter how much she wants it or how hard she tries, he doesn't love her anymore and she isn't his 'one', Quinn is, and so it's hopeless. But it hurts, she's trying to smile so hard, but her face is tired and she can't anymore. She knows she has to be happy for him or she'll lose him and a sad she knows it is is- she needs him. She needs him throw her that thumbs up every once in a while to make her days that little bit brighter.

So she had no option but to try and be ok with it, be ok and move on. God that sounded easy. Maybe it was? It was time to start a new chapter again. But as she left the club alone at 4 AM in the morning, forcing her new chapter epiphany into her head she couldn't help but pine for her old stories of how he used to spin her in every direction. And maybe, just until the sun came up, it would be ok just to think about them, just for a little while, because let's be honest, there was no point starting a new chapter at 4am in the morning, she start tomorrow. She'd get over him tomorrow.

_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her_

_I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home_

_I keep dancing on my own_


	8. Huh

_Hey lovelies- so I'm back with another oneshot from Robin's POV which is set in the closing minutes of 8x08 . I just love the way their relationship is going this season and am looking forward to them showing us how they're gunna eventually find their way back to each other. _

_A/N: I don't own the characters and reviews make me happy. Hope you enjoy _

Huh

He wasn't going to try anymore?

It took her a few seconds to process what he'd just said. She'd heard her voice try to keep up with everything, to try and tell him that 'of course he hadn't made a fool out of himself,' but Christ she knew she hadn't sounded convincing, how the hell were you supposed to sound convincing when your mind was in some kind of whirlwind that was now only slowing down? So. Many. Questions. But the idea of asking them, especially as to him the answers were clearly so obvious, seemed both stupid and terrifying. Great.

God how had she read this so wrong? She'd written off last week as a drunken mistake and she'd just assumed he had too- for God's sake Scherbatsky if your mother had taught you anything it was never to assume (makes an ass out of u and me…)Idiot. Why hadn't she even allowed herself to even think of the possibility that it was some sort of attempt to get her back? But then, in her rather shoddy defence, he'd been engaged until like 2 months ago, how was she supposed to know he was still in love with her? Even Sherlock fricken Holmes could be forgiven at not coming to the epiphany that a drunken attempt at a kiss= the desire for a serious relationship. So see, it wasn't her fault at all, no responsibility whatsoever.

Her mind was silent, content for a moment, before the denial failed because she knew, as he did, that that drunken kiss was only the tip of their 'fuck-off-massive' ice berg.

First the music video, the sex, the hospital, the will they won't they, the perfect summer, the relationship they weren't ready for. The friendship, her tears, his tears, Don, Nora, the dance, the binge drinking, the court order, Kevin, the almost reunion, the pregnancy scare, Quinn, the box, Nick and then well there was the speech. That wonderful, gut wrenchingly confusing, perfect speech. Then the kiss and then now. Now her head was spinning again. God, they'd been through the mill, and yet somehow here they were, sitting in the bar where they'd first seen each other eight years ago, having a drink together, how did that even happen?

But God, how had she read this so wrong?! Barney wanted her? After everything, even all the crap that had happened with Kevin and Nora, how was that even possible? She wouldn't touch herself with a ten foot barge pole after that fiasco- but Barney still wanted her? He'd still been trying even after that? She knew this was cheesy but she could feel something inside her actually ache at the thought of it. How had she ever picked Kevin over him? She wants to travel back in time and scream at past her not to make the easy decision, to the take the chance. But isn't hindsight just the most wonderful thing?

And that's when she realises that now should be the time to put it all right, not to let him give up. She could neck scotch he's just about hand her, look him the eye and tell him, sincerely this time that he had never made a fool of himself, and if he had then they were fools together because she'd never noticed. Tell him that the only reason she pulled away from the kiss was because she didn't want this to be just a drunken onetime thing and that when he'd said what he'd said in Spitsville she'd momentarily forgotten how to breathe and it had taken everything, all of her strength, not just to throw her arms round his neck right there and then, in some kind of cheesy romantic comedy way. And tell him, lastly and most importantly, that of course she was his 'to get', she was here, not going anywhere ever again. She'd watched all the warm up acts come and go, the clever, the not so clever (bless Nick), the attractive, the not so attractive- but there was just one act on left on the program and it was the act she was only properly realising now that she'd always wanted.

So no, he couldn't stop coming to get her, she wouldn't allow it, because she was ready now for him to take her whenever or wherever he wanted (in the physical and metaphorical sense…..nice Scherbatsky)

But then she looked up, he was back from the bar, holding a scotch out to her. He was smiling, so beautifully smiling. And she realised there was a second option. She could smile, and ask him politely about the red head and talk to him about Patrice, graciously taking the 'get out clause' he had masterfully set up for her. She knew this was the coward's way out and she knew in six months' time that future her would be cursing present her if she chose it. She could be brave, she could. She just had to say it. It was perfect. It was poetic, in the place where they'd met. God he looked happy, she loved that. This was her time, go, say it, come on. He's waiting for this, you both are. For god's sake say it. He won't reject you, he won't. Oh for, Say it. Say something. She took a breath.

'So Patrice said the stupidest thing today,'

Idiot.


End file.
